Alchemy 101
by Acutekitty1
Summary: Takes place right after Banner was defeated, and right after Al became the Philosophers Stone Now that Prof. Banner is gone, who's going to teach Duel Alchemy at the academy? Ed decides to take the job. You can tell this won't turn out well. YGO X FMA
1. The Alchemist or the Chain Letter

Summary: (Takes place right after Banner was defeated, and right after Al became the Philosophers Stone) Now that Prof. Banner is gone, who's going to teach Duel Alchemy at the academy? The Full Metal Alchemist decides to take the job. You can tell this won't turn out well... (Yugioh GX and Full Metal Alchemist crossover)

Author's Note: I came up with this idea after seeing the episode with Banner vs. Jaden. I kept thinking of FMA, because of the homunculus and Alchemy and came up with this Fanfic! Hope you like it!

-Duel Academy-  
Chancellor Shepard was annoyed. Again they were left without a Duel Alchemy teacher, and again they were having the usual teacher debate of what to do about it. And always, it would end up the same way.

"I say we get rid of this subject for good! It's a bunch of rubbish! Who needs to know about this alchemy stuff anyway? What does it have to do with dueling?" Professor Crowler shouted

"But Crowler, you know how important the subject is! It explains the origins of duel monsters! It's like not having a history class!" Dorothy responded.

"Well, maybe we should get rid of history too!" Crowler scoffed

Shepard had enough of this. He shouted, "Okay! Let's just do what we always do when a teacher leaves us. Send out the help wanted ads!"

-Some random newspaper stand-  
Edward Elric was reading the paper. Front page headline "Elric On The Run" Hehe, the military was after him and his brother. Well, he thought it might happen sooner or later. The second he got the philosophers stone, he expected the military to be all over him.

"Well, better take cover. We're going to need to lay low for a while" Ed said while reading the newspaper article about something happening at ' Duel Academy' or whatever it was. He asumed it was a school for fighting or something like that.

Then Al spoke up. "Brother, why don't you get a job far away, on a island or something. The military would never expect it, you would get a good place to hide, and you get paid. It's perfect!"

Ed shook his head. "Good idea, but there's one problem. What kind of job is on an island far away, that needs an alchemist?"

He then turned back to the paper and hit himself on the head. "Look at this Al! That place called Duel Academy is looking for someone to teach 'Duel Alchemy' It's on an island far away and the pay was exceptionally high! And as an added bonus, I could send you there, Al, as a student to hide as well! It's perfect!"

"Great Brother! Let's send a letter immediately!

- Duel Academy-  
The entire staff was looking through the letters for people willing to apply for the school position... which was only 3 people.

"Look at this! Yugi Mouto wants to teach at our school!" Dorothy cried out.

Crowler scoffed, "It's probably a prank, even if it was Yugi, Kaiba would never let him teach here. Still a bit of a rivalry between them."

"Well what about this one?" Dorothy suggested.

Shepard looked at it, "It says, Send this letter to 20 people, or have bad luck for 20 years."

Crowler was now annoyed, "How could they be so stupid! They left a return name on it. Send it back to Bakura, or whatever his name is."

Shepard then took the letter... and put it in his back pocket. 'I'm not getting bad luck! Last time I didn't send one of these chain letters, I ended up going on a blind date with Crowler!' Shepard thought.

Crowlerthen took a look at the last letter. "Well, look at this letter, from someone named Edward. He says he was a former alchemist for the military! I think we need some discipline around this school. A military man might be able to whip those Slifer Slackers into shape!"

Shepard sighed. "Well, he's the only letter left. Send him in."

-Saturday-  
Ed and Al arrived at the shores of Duel Academy. On a row boat.

Ed was annoyed having to row all the way here. "I know we wanted to go far away, but did we have to row 14351 miles to get here!"

"But brother, we don't have the money to ride the cruse ship here, so we had to row! Besides, even if we did have the money, the military would know where we are going." Al responded in a polite voice as usual.

"Well, time to go see my new boss. Hope he isn't as cruel as Mustang." Ed then headed toward the main building, while passing by teens about his age in red, yellow and blue blazers. One particular smiley faced kid in a red blazer passed the brothers.

"Hey new person! Wow, your even shorter than Syrus!" The kid said while retaining his cheerful attitude.

If you knew Ed, you knew what was coming next. As usual, Al held Ed back while Ed shouted, "**DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME SHORT, DWARF OR LITTLE!**"

"Calm down brother!" Al shouted trying to keep Ed from making a scene.

Then the boy responded, "Woah didn't mean anything by it! So you new here at the academy? What dorm are you in? I'm guessing Slifer, by the looks of your clothes. My name is Jaden."

Ed was still annoyed by the 'short' comment but still responded casually, "For your information, I'm the new Duel Alchemy teacher around here. Hehe, give me any trouble and I might decide to give you an F."

"Well that wouldn't be any different then usual." Jaden said with a grin and then walked off.

Ed could tell that he wasn't a bad guy, but decided to still keep his eye out for him. He just went on his way to the main building to get the inside information on his job. Al just followed without question.

"What! A 14 year old? In the military! Teaching at our school! You must be joking!" Crowler shouted.

But, as usual, no one cared what he thought. Then Chanslor spoke up. "Let's give him a chance. Who says the young can't be experienced? And besides, it's either him, or we go with "Mr. Chain letter" for a teacher."

Crowler grumbled. "Fine, let's give him a shot."

Ed gave a big grin. "Got anything that needs fixing?"

Then Dorothy spoke up. "Well, last night I ripped my Dark Magician girl costume... again... for the 5 time this week. Maybe could you fix that?" She then pulled out a giant pink and blue costume.

Ed twitched at the stretched out costume, but tried to keep it cool. "Come on. That's easy." He immediately clapped his hands, and instantly the5 ft rip on the lower part of the costume was fixed.

Crowler frowned. "Ok, so he's good. Let's just get this over with. I don't want to miss today's episode of Barn- Uh I mean... the news! Yeah, let's go with that!" He then rushed out of the room trying not to attract attention.

Chancellor Shepard smiled. "Well, looks like we have a new duel alchemy teacher. Not only that, but you shall be in charge of the Slifer red dorm!"

Ed remembered Jaden saying he was in Slifer. Bossing him around was going to be fun. He then just remembered Al. "Oh, and if you don't mind, maybe could my brother attend this school. I just want him to have a good education if you know what I mean."

Chancellor then turned to Al. "You must be his brother. Your welcome to attend. Just as long as your dueling skills are sharp, you'll fit in fine here."

"Yes sir." Al said standing at attention. He tried to seem presentable.

Then Ed and Al both left the room to head to the Slifer dorm. As Al mingled with his new classmates, Ed relaxed in his own private room. Soon Al came in worried. He was wearing a tight fitting red blazer.

"Brother! I just found out that this isn't a dueling type of fighting school, it's a dueling with cards called duel monsters school!"

Ed anime fell. What were they going to do? Ed knew nothing about duel monsters! Well, it's never to late to learn.

* * *

So what do you think? I know it's not that funny now, but this is just the introduction. Be sure to review!

Yugioh Fact of the Chapter: Did you know that Yuki, Jaden's last name, in Japanese means snow?

Full Metal Alchemist fact of the Chapter: Did you know that the day Ed and Al first tried to bring their mother back to life was on October 10th?


	2. Dinner time!

Author's Note: I'm here again saying, yay! Spring Break! Also, thank you to those who reviewed! BTW, if you like Yugioh, then check out my other fanfic, how hikari's act off the T.V. More funny stuff!

Reviewers Corner:  
animegirl427: Thanks! I actualy do think he watches barney. And the red blazer on Al... Well, better then him wearing a skirt with it!

avatoa: I'm glad you like the angle of my story. Another reason why I made this, because just about all the other GX fanfics are either Yaoi, or Yuri. (I am against Yaoi and Yuri fanfics! Not many people want to read about two fictional boys or girls kissing!) And I'm glad you like the FMA twist. I just hate that it ended!

Fullmetal Shinobi: I'm sure no one doubts that Crowler watches Barney. And I'm not totaly against Barney. Hey, whatever keeps my 4 year old sister quiet is good with me!

Anime WarriorSkye: Ed and his moments... everyone just loves to call Ed short, just to see him do that whole mad thing. If only he could call upon that strength more in battle, he'd be invincible!

Bronx Shogun: I know you may not like the after the phylosifers stone, but I couldn't think of another reason why they would want to get another job. Though if you really like Scar, if I find a good part for him, I might just magicly revive him.

Disclamer: Don't own Full Metal Alchemist, don't own Yugioh GX. They just happen to be in this fanfic. If I did own them, boy FMA wouldn't end right now, and GX would now have Jaden taking over the school, literaly! But I don't...

* * *

Ed didn't know what to do, wait yes he did! He went to the internet for help to find everything posible about duel monsters! 

"No! I do not want to buy the Egyptian God cards off E-Bay for $10!" Ed shouted at the computer that brought up way too many things on Google.

"Brother... you fell asleep in that 'being calm when using the computer class' didn't you?" Al said while looking over Ed's sholder.

Ed staired at his brother. He wasn't able to respond. He had fallen asleep in that class... but that was besides the point! He had to find out about duel achemy... or, he could just bribe his students with A's to not tell anyone that he was a fraud, but then the school's staff would get suspicious. Then again, maybe he could just teach Alchemy, not careing what Duel Monsters were. Yup! That could work!

Soon he went to the cafeteria waiting for dinner. All the students had empty trays and were staring at Ed. They creeped Ed out. They looked sounded like blood thirsty zombies. Or maybe it was just thier stommachs grumbling.

He just stared at them until he finaly asked, "Ok, where's the cafeteria lady? I'm starved."

One short student with blue hair stood up and said, "Cafeteria lady? Your suposed to make the food. That's what Banner did."

Ed freaked out. The only food he made was poring cereal! First duel monsters, now food. Ed gave up and asked, "Well, what do you want me to make. Pizza or microwave dinners?"

One sly looking student, that unlike everyone else, did not wear a red blazer, but instead all black, stood up and said with a grin, "It's lobster night. Come on! Chop, chop! Make me some lobster!"

Ed wasn't going to take orders from some punk. "I'll make whatever I want to make! And for ordering me around, detention for youafter dinner! And we're getting Domino's Pizza (Don't own Domino's, but they should be happy for free advertisment!)for dinner!"

Then the whole room cheered. Oviously the kid wasn't the most popular person around. Either that or they really liked Pizza. Ed smiled and went to the backroom. Then he speed dialed dommino's.

Soon the 52 pizza's arived. Ed grusomly paied the $260 ($5 a pizza special!) and shut the door. Helayed the pizzas out for everyone. Imidiatly every Slifer in the room ran to grab a slice, until Ed stoped them all. The Slyfer's were all confused.

Ed wanted to have fun before he gave them thier food. Hey! It was $260! The least he could do was have a little fun. "Whoever wants pizza line up! To get a slice, you have to..." Ed thought of the most embarising thing posible for them, "Boys, do Karioki singing a song by one of these chosen female artists, Girls..." He was about to say kiss the nearest rock, until they all gave evil glares to him. He knew better than to mess with girls. He learned that from Winry. "Uh... just line up and get your Pizza!"

The boys groaned as they lined up to the Karioki mashine. Ed saw Jaden sing "I'm walking on Sunshine" by Aly and AJ (new version) He saw the short blue haired kid sing "Oops I did it again"by Britney Spears(Ed kept wondering why Al had these songs) and saw the kid with the atitude sing "She loves you not". (But Ed still didn't give him any Pizza)

As the girls cheared and laughed, the boys cried because of loosing thier dignity. Ed then grabed a full pizza to eat for himself. Then all the students went back to thier rooms, except the black coated kid, who stayed for his detention.

"Okay, so what do you want me to do? Clean the mess up?" he said anoyed. Ed was going to make him suffer.

Ed smiled and said, "No, that would be too easy. I want you to clean all this up... with your mouth! Eat all the mess on the floor!"

The black coated kid was shocked. "Hey! No one makes 'The Chaz' clean up anything with his mouth!"

Meanwhile Ed was looking at a checklist "Individual, check, egomaniac, check, refers to himself in the 3rd person, check!" Then he turned back to Chaz. "Congradulations! Your a Mustang type of person! You enjoy calling people short, and blowing people up. Your life goal is to surpass me!"

Chaz looked confused. "You have a quizzila acount, don't you?"

Ed froze. How the heck did he know about that! "Um... you can clean the place up with a broom if you don't tell anyone, and I'll throw in a slice of frozen pizza."

Chaz wasn't to happy with the deal but still said, "Fine. Whatever" Then he picked up a broom and started cleaning up.

Ed was happy. He thought maybe he'd put someone on detention every day, so he wouldn't have to clean up. Then he turned to Al. (still wearing the tight red blazer)

"Brother, you just didn't want to do the cleaning, did you." Al said

"Hey, the place is clean, I'm not dirty, I'm happy." Ed said simply and went to his room, while Al went to his new room to meet his new roommates. They were named "Jaden Yuki and Syrus Trusdale"

* * *

Like that chapter, I desided to update early just for all of you! Don't forget to review

YGO GX Fact of the chapter: Later in the series, Syrus becomes a Ra yellow!

FMA Fact of the chapter: Full Metal alchemist in Japanese litteraly means, Alchemist of Steel.


	3. Rise and shine young duelists!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just finished my other story "How Hikaris Act off TV" So now I have more time to spend on this! Though there is another thing that might slow me down, that I fear most of in all the world. Final Exams

* * *

Ed got out of his bed. He realized he had fallen asleep reading "Duel Monsters for Dummys" He grumbled. No wonder he had dreams of playing the hokie pokie with the Blue Eyes White Dragon! Ed then got dressed into his usual atire. He desided that since this was a alchemy duel monsters class, he'd try something that would creep the class out. He grabbed a stack of paper to use for his "Project" 

"Good morning Brother" Al said walking up to Ed in the cafeteria.

"Suck up" Chazz muttered under his breath.

Al then continued"Brother! I've had so much fun with my new roomates! They taught me how to play duel monsters! I even made my own deck! I do wonder though. Why do they have a accadamy just to learn how to play a card game? Maybe a acadamy teaching you how to be a game desiner, or maybe teaching you how to play all kinds of games, but just to learn how to play one card game why that? It doesn't seem that worth it."

Then every kid in the room in shocked spit out thier milk (And spewing it out on the person in front of them). "What do you mean duel monsters isn't worth it! It is the world!" Everyone in the room said with a phycotic look on thier faces.

Then Al came up with a cover up. "Uh... I wasn't talking about duel monsters, I was talking about... that less popular card game Pokemon! Yeah, that's it! Don't you think it's stupid to have a Pokemon acadamy?"

Then everyone disregarded what he said and went back to what they were doing and started whiping the milk off thier faces.

Then Ed wispered in Al's ear "What are you doing! We got to blend in! You could have goten us found out!"

"I'm sorry Brother. I din't think people were listening in." Al said saidly.

Giving into Al's cuteness he responded, "It's ok. Anyway how did your night go with those new friends of yourse?"

Then Al thought about it. "Well..."

Flashback

"So... Why are you wearing a suit of armor?" the little blue haired kid named Syrus asked.

"Uh... Protection?" Al responded

"For what?" Jaden asked?

"Um... Humuncli, Evil alchemists, bombings, being stabed to death, creepy people, you know all that stuff that happens every day." Al responded akwardly.

The next day Jaden and Syrus came to class dressed in suits of armor. Soon it caught on to be the next hot fad!

Flashback End

"So that's why it took the boys an hour to sit down on the benches!" Ed exclamed.

"Our dorm is going to be the laughing stock of the school isn't it?" Al said sadly

"It's ok." Ed said trying to comfort his brother. "This dorm was already the laughing stock of the school way before we showed up! If anything, they got better."

Then a kid wearing a suit of armor started choking.

"I can't breathe!" the kid kept shouting

Then Ed jumped on his back trying to get the helmet off.

At that moment a group of girls started to walk in the cafeteria. "Cool! A Yaoi moment! Can we watch?" One of the girls shouted.

"I'm trying to save his life! I'm no gay guy!" Ed shouted back at the girls

"I've always dreamed about this after reading fanfiction storys! I can't belive it's actualy happened!" another one of them shouted.

"I thought Jaden and Syrus were going to be the first ones to do that in public at this school!" A third shouted.

Then Ed finaly got the helmet off the kids head and fell off his back. "Breathe! Breathe!" The kid shouted after it finaly came off

"Great! I got to go to the bathroom! Where's the hole to use the toilet?" Jaden shouted.

Then Al wispered something in his ear.

"What! No hole! How the heck am I suposed to go to the bathroom? Wet myself?"

"Wouldn't be any diffrent than what you normaly do." Chazz responded in a cool tone of voice.

"Profesor! ... hey what's your name anyway?" Jaden asked

"Uh... you can call me..." He had to come up with a name that wouldn't blow his cover. "Uh... I'm profesor Cirle! (Author's Note: I'llmention your namein the next chapter if you figure out what it means)Yeah that's it!"

"What kind of name is that?" Jaden responded confused.

"Um... It's french! Yeah! I came from Eu-ro-pe!"

"Don't you mean Europe?" Said Syrus.

"No... um... Eu-ro-pe is a secret agency in France! I'm here on a secret mision! See we're studying this secret digital universe called Lyoko! And there was word that you can get to the secret factory that takes you to Lyoko from here! But don't tell anyone! Or I will give you a failing grade!" Ed said coming up with a excuse. (Author's note: Hehe. After I just managed to put he was from France I couldn't help but mention my favorite non-Japanese anime, Code: Lyoko!)

"Yes profesor Cirle." All the students said in a monotone voice. While mutering "idiot." under thier breath.

"Lyoko?" Al questioned. "Brother, have you been watching French cartoons again?"

"No!... Maybe... Yes." Ed responded trying to hide it.

Al sighed. "Brother, come on. I'm going to have to tell you all I know about duel monsters in 5 minutes before class starts."

Then Al walked into Ed's private room and turnede to the chalk board in it.

"Okay! This-" Then Al pointed to the badly drawn picture of a monster card. "Is a monster card! They are yellow!" Then Al drew another badly drawn picture of a effect monster. "This is a effect monster. They are orange! They do wierd stuff that you can find out by doing what most of the strange students don't think of doing! Reading the bottom of the card!" Al said in a teacher like voice

"Why don't they do it?" Ed asked

"I don't know. Something about being afraid of big words." Al responded.

Then Al continued. "These are magic and trap cards, and they do... other stuff that I don't know. More reading the bottom of the card stuff. They are green and purple." Then Al said under his breath "Who ever made these card colors must be real queere."

"Anything Else?" Ed asked.

Then Al said, "Of course. The most important rule of the game is-" Then Al was interupted by a loud bell.

Ed shot up. "Ahhh! That's the five minute bell! There is no way I'm being late to class on my first day!"

"I'm with you on that Brother!" Al shouted. Then they both ran out of the room along with all the other rushing Slyfer students.

* * *

Again, sorry for the wait! I'm taking final exams now, but now another fear that may stop me from updating has been introduced. Final Fantasy X! I'm obsesed with it! 


	4. Class is now in session!

Okay. I thought that this would be easy. I thought that like every reviewer would get what Cirle means. It took a while for my friend to get it too! I can't believe no one noticed that Cirle is Elric spelled backwards. Oh well. Anyways, I'm actually supposed to be studying for my science Final, but the computer was in front of me! It was calling me to make another chapter, so I had to do it!

* * *

Ed actually made it into class on time! He was able to set up the lesson he had planed in five seconds. That was all the time he had.

"Okay, who can tell me Alchemy's first principle?" Ed said in front of the entire class.

He saw Al immediately shoot up his hand. "Anyone else have the answer?" Ed said trying to figure out if the rest of the class knew a thing about alchemy.

Then Jaden rose his hand up. Ed was relived to know that the last teacher actually taught them something.

"Uh, don't blow things up?" Jaden said laughing.

"Dropping tuna in the mix is a no no?" Syrus tried.

They started to get on Ed's nerves. He then decided to give up and tell them.

"No, and no. First off, sometimes in Alchemy you try to blow things up. Though usually that's illegal, so don't try it. And using tuna when alchemy is only useful when making lunch. Alchemy's first principle is-" and then Al started mouthing the words to the principle "Humanity can't gain anything without first giving something up in return. In order to obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's principle of equivalent exchange. Any questions?"

Then Chazz raised his hand. "Yes." Ed said while drawing a alchemy circle on the floor.

"Why the heck are you destroying school property by drawing on the floor." Chazz said as annoying as ever.

"Why don't you come up here and I'll show you." Ed said with a grin.

Chazz nervously walked up to the front of the class.

"Now, let me show you how to transmute a object. First, draw a transmutation circle. Not now, first watch here. Now Chazz, what do you think is the scariest thing on earth?"

"This class." Chazz said keeping his cool tone of voice. There was a few laughs through the crowd.

"Ha ha, very funny. Guess I'll have to choose for you." Ed said. He then picked up the stack of paper to use for his transmutation.

He pressed his hands against the circle, and soon the paper had turned into something every person in the class feared. It was too scary for comprehension. Every student shuttered in fright as they looked of it. One boy from Ra gave a high pitched girly scream and ran out of the room and shouted, "Help! It's going to get me!" While others hid under their desks. Ed had in created the scariest thing known to man.

"Come on ya babies! It's just a origami copy of Crowler! I mean, sure, he's ugly, he's stupid, he has no dueling skills, he looks like a mix between a girl and a boy, and...the real standing right behind me isn't he." Chazz said.

And in fact the real Crowler was standing behind Chazz, with a red as a tomato face. There was steam coming out of his head.

"What is the meaning of this?" Shouted Crowler.

Then Ed stood in. He had dealed with hot heads and over active egos -cough- Mustang -cough- and he knew just how to handle them right.

"Oh, I was just giving the students a example of alchemy, so Chazz here said I should make a copy of, as he put it, 'that idiot of a teacher Crowler' I told him it isn't right to insult teachers, but he didn't listen. I made the copy, and then he went on how he hated it and the real thing." Ed said in a calm voice trying to change the story. No one in the class complained because, 1.They hated Chazz, 2. Crowler was around 3. Their grade depended on their silence and 4. They **really **hated Chazz.

"What! Chazz! Hmfp! I guess being with those Slifer Slackers brought you down to their level. Well, I bet some time in detention should fix that!" Crowler said yelling as he pulled Chazz out of the room by the ear.

So then Ed turned to the class. "Now that he's gone, let me teach you all how to make soda and chips with alchemy! Party!"

The whole class cheered. "Mr. Cirle" was now officially their favorite teacher.

* * *

Now that the chapter is finished(See, I work on the chapter little by little in my free time)I have good news to bring you. Finals are finished and I am free from school for the summer! Yay! Party. Though now I'm scared of High School. Help! I heard they have way too much work at the school I'm going to!


	5. Chazz's Threat

I ment for this chapter to be posted earlyer, but I got sidetracked with FFX-2, Gaia, fathers day project, VBS and a whole bunch of other stuff. Hope you don't mind!

* * *

After that class, Ed was once again the "Hero of the People" Or in this case, The "Favorite of the Students." Whenever there was a problem, they'd come to Ed. Whenever they wanted to skip a class, they'd come to Ed for a pass note. If Chazz was bugging them, he'd make sure Chazz got a detention. Ah, life was great, that was, until Chazz came in Ed's room that day. 

Ed looked up from what he was doing to see Chazz walk in his room. "Hey, what are you doing here? I don't have you sceduled for another detention until..." Then Ed looked at his agenda, "7:00 tonight. Oh, and be sure to wear clothes that are acid and fire proof." Ed said while smiling. He had even sold tickets to the students for this one!

"Oh, I don't think I'll be coming to that tonight Profesor Cirle, or should I say, Edward Elric, Full Metal Alchemist." Chazz said while smiling. He had finaly won. He figured out who Ed really was.

"Wha... What are you talking about? I don't know any Dead Word, Den mik." Ed said in a atempt to prove him wrong.

Then Chazz staired at him. "Don't try to make up excuses. I know all about you." Then Chazz held up a newspaper with the headline, "Elric On The Run." The same one that Ed got the day he came to Duel Acadamy.

"I told you, never mess with the Chazz." Chazz said cooly

"Um, no you didn't tell me anything." Ed simply said.

Then Chazz got a vien on hisforhead, "Whatever! I figured it out when you never were teaching us anything Duel Monsters related. You don't know anything about Duel Monsters, do you? I'll tell you what. I'll give you a chance to prove me wrong. If you're really not some State Alchemist in hiding, I bet you can beat me easly. I mean, you are an expert, right."

Then Ed said confidently, "Of course I am! No way you can beat me!"

"I'm glad to hear that. Meet me at the abandoned dorm, 12:00 tonight.If you win, I'll just pass you off as a look alike, but if you lose, I'm going to be showing this article to Chanslor Shepard, who will gladly turn you over to the millitary. See ya then, that is if the Tiny microsopic short Dwarf you are can have the courage to see me then."

-A few rooms over-  
Al was playing duel monsters with Jaden. He was finaly going to win!

Al took a card out of his hand. "I sacrifise Stone Sol-" Thats when Al got a famillar feeling.

'Oh no! My "Someone is calling Ed Short/ a midget/ microsopic/ a dwarf/ tiny" sences are tingling. Got to go hold him down' Al thought to himself.

"Um... can we put this duel on hold for a second?"

Everyone nodded ok. And Al ran out of the room.

As soon as Ed was about to pounce on Chazz, Al was able to hold Ed back.

"Who you callikng a Tiny microsopic short Dwarf!" Ed said strugling to get out of Al's grip.

ThenChazz imidiatly ran out of the room in fear of Ed.

"Brother? What happened?" Al asked.

Then Ed explained how Chazz had figured out who he was.

"Brother, the only solution is to beat him in a duel." Al said simply.

"But, I don't know much of anything about Duel monsters, and nither do you!" Ed shouted.

"Well... I do know four people that might be able to help you, and they owe you a favor for getting them out of Crowler's class..." Al said.

"But if I tell them I need help, then the'll know I'm a fraud!" Ed shouted

"But they won't blackmail you at least. Remember, you're thier favorite teacher. Do you think they'd tell on you?" Al responded

"Ok. It's the only chance we have to stay here. Tell them to meet me here at 5:00." Ed said while sitting down on his bed.

Al nodded and ran out of the room and got all the people Ed asked for. He didn't give detalils. He just told them that Mr. Cirle wanted them at 5:00 in his room. Then at 5:00, Jaden, Syrus, Alexis, and Baston arived inEd's room.

"What is it Profesor Cirle? We aren't in trouble, are we? I swear! I didn't kiss Zane in the bathroom! Atticus spread that rumor!" Alexis shouted. Then she realized that everone else was there and blushed.

Then Ed staired at her. "Um no... I've come here, because I need help. You see, I'm not exactly the duelest you think I am." Ed said embaresed. "I swear! I thought this was a fighting school! That, I am good with. I can do fighting and alchemy, but I don't know anything about duel monters."

"And why are you telling us this now?" Bastion asked.

"Well, being the jerk that Chazz is, he found out and now is saying if I duel him and lose, then he'll tell the Chanslor, and I'll lose my job! You've got to help me!" Ed shouted.

"Of course we'll help you! How else are we going to pass our finals?" Jaden said.

"Ditto!" Syrus shouted

"I'll help, as long as you don't tell anyone about that little outburst earlyer." Alexis said blushing

"If you make sure to raise my C to an A in my class, I'll help too." Bastion said shly. He may have been a dueling expert, but he couldn't draw a transmutation circle if his life depended on it.

"Thanks. But first thing, I need a deck. No way I'm showing up to Chazz borrowing one of your decks. That might make him suspisious. Do you have like a card shop somewhere around here?" Ed aked.

Then Jaden said with a smile "Yup! It's a good one too! Come on!" Then Jaden dragged Ed to the card shop. They agreed that they would each buy a seprate amount of the cards, because it might look suspisious that he was buying a whole deck. Ed paid for all of it of course.

(If you want to know what's in his deck, just tell me in your review, and I'll put it in the next chapter, but if you really don't care, don't say anything. Next chapter mightbe a duel btw.)

"So. Any one know what Chazz's deck is about." Ed asked as him, Al, Jaden and Syrus walked back to the Slifer dorm. Alexis and Bastion already left.

"Just some punny Ojama cards. They should be easy to beat." Jaden said perked up as usual.

"Then I'm going to shut him down." Ed said with a confident grin

* * *

You all know the drill, review and I update. This time, if you want me to review, I've got to get 20 reviews for this story. Sorry, but I need some motivation to update! Tell all your friends about this story, but here's the thing, anonymous reviews don't count tward the 20, so don't just give me a bunch of reviews only ment to get me to update. Come on! It's just 3 reviews! If you like this story, you'll do it right! 


	6. A Duel to Prove

Wow! I didn't expect to get the reviews for a while. I'm so glad people like this story! Sorry, would have updated sooner, but I was on vacation! To say sorry, I'm going to give you a nice LONG chapter to read. And about Ed's Deck... I'll give you a list in the story.

* * *

Ed looked over his deck as he walked to the abandoned dorm. The time of him and the other students making his deck flashed through his head

-Flashback-  
"So, what kind of deck do you want anyways?" Jaden asked Ed while walking toward the card shop.

"How about an alchemy deck? You said a deck is supposed to reflect a person's personality, right?" Ed responded.

Then Jaden got quiet. He remembered his old favorite teacher, Professor Banner, and his Alchemy deck.

"Uh, is something wrong kid?" Ed asked.

Because silence doesn't usually last long with Jaden, he immediately perked up and responded, "Alright then! I know just the cards!"

Then Jaden ran ahead to the card shop leaving Ed in the dust.

"Hey! Come back here!" Ed shouted running behind Jaden.

Then Alexis, Syrus and Bastion shrugged and ran after them.

-End Flashback-

Ed was still kind of curious what was bothering Jaden, but he really didn't care. Ed was just concerned on wining. He then went over his cards one more time. (Note: Most of these cards, I just stole from Banner's deck. Yeah, I'm lazy... but at least I put in some original cards, right!)

Alchemic Beast Iron Salamander  
Alchemic Beast Lead Leon  
Alchemic Beast Copper Ouroboros  
Aqua Spirit  
The Rock Spirit  
Spirit of Flames  
Garuda the Wind Spirit  
Alchemic Beast Tin Aetos  
Alchemic Beast Mercury Echeneis  
Alchemic Beast Silver Moonface  
Golden Homunculus  
Primeval Sun Helios  
Helios Duo Magistus  
Helios Tris Megistus  
Elemental Absorber  
Macrocosmos  
Dark Wall of Wind  
Alchemic Kettle  
Iron Lamp  
Copper Scales  
Lead Compass  
White Process Albred  
Black Process Nigredo  
Tin Magic Panel  
Mercury Hourglass  
Silver Key  
Chaos Greed  
Planet Alignment  
Grand Cross  
Yellow Process Kitolinix  
Red Process Rubendo  
Mirror Force (X2)  
Raegeki (X2)  
Homunculus the Alchemic Being (X3) (There were a lot of requests for this card. I was going to put it in anyway. I have it myself actually!)  
Raging Flame Sprite

Jaden and the others had suggested most of them. Ed had made some changes of his own that he felt would help, since he, unlike the others, had common sense. Because he had the mind to read the bottom of the card, Ed felt he had the upper hand over these illiterate idiots. Ed then looked up at the abandoned dorm.

"Whoa... this place looks kind of creepy." Ed said to himself.

"I agree, but then again, everything looks creepy at night!" Said a cheerful voice from behind.

Ed immediately turned to see who it was. He saw it was Jaden, and behind him were Syrus, Alexis, Bastion and Al.

"I thought I told you guys to stay behind. You could get in trouble for being here!" Ed shouted quietly so no one else would hear.

"But Brother, we came so we could cheer you on!" Al responded.

Then Syrus chimed in, "There's no way we're going to miss you're big match!"

"I want to see you beat that slime named Chazz!" Alexis cheered

"I'm interested in seeing how you fair against Chazz also." Bastion said in his normal sophisticated tone of voice.

"You're not going to leave even if I say no, are you?" Ed questioned.

"Nope!" Everyone shouted.

"Well, then I guess I got myself my own cheerleader squad." Ed said smirking

"If you're done with your little inspirational friendship moment, can we get on with this duel?" Said a voice from behind. Everyone knew immediately that it was Chazz.

Then Ed responded, "Well, if you're really in a hurry to lose, I'll finish you quick so I can go back to bed."

"Ha, yeah right!" Chazz said activating his duel disk.

Then Ed grabbed the duel disk he had brought and put it into battle mode.

"Get your game on!" Jaden shouted from the sidelines.

Then everyone gave him a strange glare.

"What? Somebody had to say it!" Jaden said in his defense.

Then Chazz got angry and shouted, "I am sick and tired of that stupid line! You need to get a new one!"

"Um... ok, how about, it's time to duel!" Jaden suggested.

"Already taken." said Syrus.

Then Jaden thought for a second "Um... how about-"

"How about we get this duel started already!" Chazz shouted.

"For once, I'm with him. Let's flip to see who goes first" Ed responded. Then Ed took out a quarter.

"Hey! I want to flip it!" Chazz shouted.

"It's my coin! I flip it!" Ed responded.

Then Chazz pulled out a penny out of his pocket. "Then we'll use my coin!"

"No way! Everyone knows you use a quarter! Pennies are for cheep people!" Ed shouted.

Then Alexis watching shouted, "If you don't decide who goes first, I'm going to go Blue-Eyes-White-Dragon on you!"

Then everyone (except Ed and Al) shuttered. They remembered what happened last time when she went 'Blue-Eyes-White-Dragon' on them, and it was not exactly the most peaceful moment on earth.

Then Ed, not getting what the heck going BEWD was, just simply said, "Alright! I'll go first already!"

/Ed- 4000lp/

Chazz- 4000lp

He then drew 5 cards into his hand. He got Alchemic Kettle, Silver Key, Homunculus the Alchemic Being, Garuda the Wind Spirit, and Elemental Absorber. Not bad for the first draw.

"Okay, I'm going to put Homunculus the Alchemic being down in defense mode, and put one card face down. And play Alchemic Kettle Your turn!" Ed then placed Elemental Absorber face down, Alchemic Kettle face up and Homunculus the Alchemic Being face down in Defense mode.

"Not bad, but not good enough. I place X-Head Cannon in defense mode." Chazz said placing the monster on the field.

"Is that all you've got?" Ed shouted

"You wish! I also play Level Modulation!" Then the card appeared on the field "Can you guess what it does?" Chazz said confidently.

"No, I'll just read the bottom of the card." Ed said calmly. Chazz got aggravated

"You're supposed to guess and be in worry of what can be in store for you!" Chazz shouted.

"But it's just so much easier to just read the card!" Ed said still calm.

"You do not get the whole ominous thing do you? Fine, if you've read by now, it says that you get to draw 2 cards."

Ed then drew two cards from his deck. Mirror Force, and Raegeki. "Thanks, but I know that's not all. You also get to summon a monster with LV in its name. So, what's it going to be?"

Chazz got even more aggravated. "Be in panic as I summon to the field, Armed Dragon LV10!"

Armed Dragon LV10 Attack: 3000/Defence: 2000

Then Ed yawned. "Ok, can you hurry up? I want to get at least 8 hours of sleep tonight."

Chazz growled. "You don't get it! I use its special effect! By sending one measly card to the graveyard" Chazz said sending Ojamagic to the graveyard. "I can destroy all the monsters on your field!" Then Ed's Homunculus the Alchemic Being was destroyed and put out of play because of Alchemic Kettle. "And because Ojamagic was sent to the graveyard, I get to move the Ojama brothers into my hand!" Then Chazz looked through his deck and pulled Ojama yellow, green and Black to his hand. (I actually had Ojama black before the series came out! I won it in a duel against my friend.).

Then Ed yawned again. "So what, you destroy one monster, and you get a few weaklings into your hand. Are you done yet?"

You could see the veins in Chazz's forehead. "No! Armed Dragon LV10! Attack that idiot's life points directly!"

"And I'm the idiot? Have you not seen the trap card on my side of the field? It's a little thing called Elemental Absorber. You see, if you actually READ THE CARD, you see that by getting rid of a monster that is the same type as yours, I can stop your attack. So I send Garuda the Wind Spirit to the graveyard, but because of Alchemic Kettle, it goes out of play, to save my life points. Now I ask again, are you done yet?" Ed said while flipping up Elemental Absorber and sending GTWS to the graveyard.

"Grr... yeah, your turn." Chazz said.

Then Ed drew Chaos Greed. "Well, that dragon looks like it could actually do some damage to my life points. Guess I'll have to get rid of it. I play, Raegeki, which gets rid of all monsters on your side of the field, so say goodbye to Mr. Armed Dragon LV10." Then Armed Dragon LV10 was destroyed.

"Nooo! My Armed Dragon LV10!" Chazz shouted

"Gez, it's just a game! Lighten up! Now I play Silver Key summoning up Alchemic Beast Silver Moonface!" Then Silver Key was played, then destroyed and put out of play, but then Alchemic Beast Silver Moonface appeared on the field.

Silver Moonface: Attack: 500/ Defense?

"And because that's 4 cards out of play (Silver Key, Raegeki, Garuda the Wind Spirit, and Homunculus the Alchemic Being), I can play Chaos Greed to get two more cards!" Then Ed played Chaos Greed on the field and drew two cards. "Well, I think I'm going to play both these cards right now! Iron Lamp and Copper Scales, now I can summon Alchemic Beast Iron Salamander and Alchemic Beast Copper Ouroboros."

Alchemic Beast Iron Salamander: Attack: 500/ Defense?  
Alchemic Beast Copper Ouroboros: Attack 500/ Defense?

"All the Alchemic Beasts can attack your life points directly, but that doesn't really matter because you have no monsters on the field. Alchemic Beasts, Attack Chazz's life points directly!"

Ed: 4000 LP

Chazz: 2500 LP

"And to finish it off, I'll put one card face down. You're up!" Ed shouted. He then placed Mirror force face down on his field.

Then Chazz drew. "I play Ojama Trio! That means you get 3 Ojama tokens, but because you do, you have to get rid of one of those Alchemic Beasts! Can't have a field of 6!"

"No big deal." Ed said putting Alchemic Beast Copper out of play. "You get 3 turns instead of two, not a problem for me. Is it my turn yet?" Ed asked trying to annoy Chazz.

Chazz as annoyed as ever" No! Your even worse then that Slifer Slacker Jaden! I play Y-Dragon Head in attack mode! Now Y-Head Dragon, Attack Alchemic Beast Iron Salamander! Your turn!"

Ed: 3000 LP

Chazz: 2500 LP

"Go ahead, no problem for me!" Ed said moving ABIS out of play. "My draw..." Then Ed picked up the card on the top of his deck and smirked. Raging Flame Sprite. It looked weak, but it could prove to be a big problem for your opponent when used right.

"And I play Raging Flame Sprite in Attack mode!" Ed shouted.

Raging Flame Sprite: Attack: 100 Defense: 200

"Ha! You put a weakling on the field! What's that going to do? Annoy me with its bright lights?" Chazz said chuckling.

Then Ed gave him a slight glare. "Ah, but that's why it's called _Raging_ Flame Sprite. It keeps getting stronger. Every time it attacks your life points directly, which by the way it can do at any time thanks to its effect, it gains 1000 attack points! Speaking of which, Raging Flame Sprite, Attack Chazz's Life points directly!"

The Flame Sprite then flew past the Y-Head Dragon and Attacked Chazz head on.

Ed: 3000 LP

Chazz: 2400 LP

"So Raging Flame Sprite now gets a little power boost."

Raging Flame Sprite: Attack: 1100 Defense: 200

"And don't forget my Alchemic Beast Silver Moonface. Attack!"

The Alchemic Beast also then went and attacked Chazz's life points. Chazz groaned as the life point counter went down.

Ed: 3000 LP

Chazz: 1900 LP

"You're turn!" Ed said coolly

Chazz then picked up a card out of his deck. He gave a slight smirk.

"If you're going to try and tempt me with those weakling cards, then you have another thing coming! I play Z-Metal Tank! I'll just destroy that stupid Sprite before he gets a chance to even touch my life points! Z-Metal Tank Attack Raging Flame Sprite!" Then Z-Metal Tank Lunged at the Sprite, but then it was blocked by a barrier, and not just any barrier, a mirror.

"Sorry Chazz, you'll have to do better than that! You think I'd leave my monsters on the field unattended. You've got to look at the trap cards! Like my Mirror force card. Because you were stupid enough to attack, you now lose yours Z-Metal Tank and Y-Head Dragon." Then Z-Metal Tank and Y-Head Dragon were destroyed by the effects of Mirror force.

Chazz groaned he knew that he'd lose in 2 turns. Any monster he played couldn't stop the Raging Flame Sprite and Alchemic Beast, due to the fact that they could attack life points directly. The only monster that would be powerful enough to stop them was the Armed Dragon, but that was in the Graveyard. There was V-Tiger Jet and W-Wing Catapult, but by next turn that Sprite would be too strong to be stopped. His only hope was Ojama King, but Chazz hadn't been able to drawn a Polymerization. If he couldn't draw one next turn, he'd be done for. "Your go." Chazz said angrily.

"Good!" Then Ed drew. Golden Homunculus. Exactly the card he needed to finish this duel that turn. "I sacrifice Alchemic Beast Silver Moonface to play Golden Homunculus, and because of its special ability, its Attack and Defense go up by 300 for each card I put out of play, and I count 10, meaning...

Golden Homunculus: Attack: 4500 Defense: 4500

"And because I got rid of all your monsters last turn, he can attack you directly! Golden Homunculus, end this duel!"

Ed: 3000 LP

Chazz: 0 LP

"Say It!" Jaden shouted

Ed gave him a glare. "Fine fine! I'll say the stupid catch phrase. And that's game!"

Then Bastion, Syrus Alexis, Jaden and Al all gathered around Ed.

"Brother! You did it!" Al cheered.

"Of Course I did it! You think I was going to let some punk kid get in my way?" Ed said smirking.

"Hey! Who you calling a punk!" Chazz shouted back.

Then Ed stared at him. "I'm sorry; you're just a rich kid with an attitude."

"Sodas on me... tomorrow morning for breakfast. I'm tired!" Ed shouted.

Everyone but Chazz cheered. What can I say? Everyone loves caffeinated beverages!

Meanwhile Chazz was looking at the ground. "I can't believe I got beaten by some newbie..." Chazz said to himself.

Then Ed walked up to him, "Good game kid."

"Why are you calling me kid? You like a kid yourself!" Chazz shouted.

"This is the thanks I get for being nice? I was about to say you can have Soda tomorrow too, but I guess you don't want it..." Ed said while walking away. Then Jaden, Al, Syrus, Alexis, and Bastion followed him.

"Hey! I want soda for breakfast! Come back here! I want soda too!" Then Chazz ran off following them into the night.

* * *

So, not bad for my first duel... well duel in a fanfiction. Yup, this is my first time! Ok, this time's goal is to hit 25 reviews! That's just 5 more! Also, if you're on Gaia, give me a message and maybe we can RP some time. My username is AnimeGodess1.


	7. Your next Mission: Destroy the She male!

I feel so horrible for leaving you all! I guess becoming a high school freshmen has sucked out all the ideas out of me! But don't worry, I'm back, and hopefully, I'll get this story done! I'm not the same person though. As you can see by my new story, Identity Crisis, I don't know if there's going to be a lot of humor coming out of me, so I'll try my best.

Disclaimer: Don't own any anime/manga known to man, Including Yugioh GX and Full Metal Alchemist... and of course not my new favorite anime, Deathnote.

* * *

The next day, Ed was in the middle of his alchemy lesson. "Today we are going to start simple. Transmutation of sulfur. Because it's a natural element- Yes?" Ed said looking toward a student in yellow.

"I heard you can do alchemy without using a transmutation circle!" The Ra student said excited. "Can you show us?!"

"I'd be happy to." Ed said with a smirk on his face. His favorite part of being a teacher? The praise of course! He clapped his hands and pressed them against the pile of sulfur he had on his desk. A glow came from where the transmutation occurred, causing the simple block of sulfur to turn into figurine of a little Kuriboh.

(New chapter contest! Whoever can guess the reference I'm making in Ed's figurine wins the honor of being mention of being in the next chapter! …If any of you are still reading that is.)

Then the kid tried clapping his hands. "Why isn't anything happening?"

"Well that's because-" but Ed really didn't feel like going into explanation. "I'm the only one that can do it. Look. Everybody clap your hands!" Ed shouted out.

About half the people in the class started clapping some.

"Come on!" Ed shouted out.

Everyone in the class then started to join in…. that's when Ed realized something what he was doing sounded very familiar, "How low can you go?!"

(Forgive me if you don't get the Cha-cha slide reference. It's just always on the radio so it finally got to me!)

At this exact moment, Crowler decided to enter the room. "I knew we should have gone with the chain letter guy…" He said walking out of the classroom the second he heard what was going on.

Ed shrugged. "What's up with her… or him. Can't tell which." Ed said shrugging. He opened the text book looking around for something today. "Anyways, class dismissed. Homework is to- eh forget the homework. What good did it ever do to anyone? Just make sure to get a prank pulled on the He-witch by the end of the day for a extra credit A."

"Yay!" The kids cheered rushing out of the room. Soon the only people left in the room were Al, who didn't have anywhere to go and Jaden and Syrus, who were still asleep.

Ed glared at the two. "The class wasn't that long…" He said slamming the textbook on the desk."

"Ring around the rosy!" Jade shouted blurting out complete nonsense as he awoke.

"Whoever's name is written in this notebook shall die!" Syrus shouted.

Everyone in the room turned their eyes to Syrus. What the? Wasn't he supposed to be the innocent one?

"What? I read it in a Manga!" Syrus said in his defense.

"Anyways, due to you two kind of helping me win my duel against Chaz and keep my job, I've decided to make it up to you. State your demands." Ed said not liking to be in people's debt… usually when that happened, they expected the favor back ten-fold.

"Uh… how about a duel?" Jaden asked.

Ed rolled his eyes. "Not again… not too fond of dueling for some reason."

Both Jaden and Syrus's mouths dropped. "How do you live?! It's a way of life!" They shouted at the same time.

"Don't mean to cause a war or anything, but come on! Would you really do something like risk your lives for cards?" Ed asked jokingly.

Jaden and Syrus really had to think about it. "Depends which car-"

"Don't even say it!" Ed shouted. "Can you think of something else then?"

"Well… there is something." Syrus said nervously. "You see, Crowler has always been treating us Slifer kids like crud."

"Say no more!" Ed declared. "I'll get him just like I did Chaz!"

"But this is more difficult." Jaden stated. "Crowler is actually a teacher. How are you going to get him?"

"I have my ways." Ed said with a evil grin on his face.

"Uh brother… why did you turn off the lights and are now holding up a flashlight to your face?" Al asked

"No reason!" Ed said throwing the flashlight in the opposite direction to hit a random Obelisk student passing by. "Just leave it to me and I'll put him in his place. I am the Full Metal Alchemist.

"And Crowler is the Full mental duelist… this should be fun to watch!" Jaden declared.

* * *

Yes I am back! But am I here to stay? Depends on how much you all love me! Be sure to write lots of reviews for me, or I might decide to leave again TT


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